Why You’re Not Failing: 5 Ways You’re Growing Through Challenges

I Thought I Was Failing When My Air Fryer Betrayed Me

So there I was, sitting on my kitchen floor in fuzzy socks, mascara halfway down my face, Googling “what does it mean if you cry over burnt sweet potato fries.”

This was not my proudest moment. I’d had a day — you know, one of those days. The kind where your to-do list multiplies like gremlins in water, your email is basically a threat, and your favorite TikTok sound starts feeling a little too targeted. (Looking at you, “girl, get up.”)

But back to the fries. I had this plan — healthy dinner, early bedtime, maybe even a face mask. Instead, my air fryer did that thing where it decides to char food into oblivion like it’s on some kind of culinary revenge mission. And I broke. I mean full dramatic flop onto the floor, tears, internal monologue spiraling: “Why am I like this?” “Why can’t I get anything right?” “Is this the part where I fail at life because of tubers?”

Sounds ridiculous now, but in that moment, it felt real. And if you’ve ever cried over something dumb — a crooked Etsy order, a missed call, your bangs — you know it’s never just about the thing. It’s about all the heavy stuff underneath.

And for a second, I genuinely believed I was failing.

But here’s what I wish I could’ve told myself while lying next to scorched fries like a sad Disney side character: you’re not failing — you’re just growing in hard mode.

Growth doesn’t always look cute. It’s not always journal entries and sunflower fields. Sometimes it’s sweatpants, anxiety, and wondering if you’ll ever get your act together. But it counts. It so counts.

So if you’ve been feeling like you’re behind or stuck or falling short lately, I want to gently (or dramatically) suggest: maybe you’re not failing. Maybe you’re just in the messy middle of becoming.

Let’s talk about the five ways you’re growing through challenges — even when it feels like you’re crashing and burning. (Pun intended. RIP, sweet potatoes.)

1. You Feel Everything Deeply — And That’s a Superpower

The other day I cried over a commercial. Not a touching one — a fabric softener ad. But it had a golden retriever and a dad doing laundry, and next thing I knew, I was weeping like someone had scored the final goal in an emotional soccer match I didn’t sign up for.

And for a long time, I hated that part of myself. The way I’d spiral. How small things felt so big. But I’ve learned that being sensitive doesn’t mean I’m weak. It means I’m paying attention. Feeling things fully — the good, the bad, the messy in-betweens — is how I know I’m alive, awake, human.

So no, you’re not failing because you had a meltdown over a late-night text or cried during your commute. You’re processing. You’re alive. You care. And that’s actually beautiful, no matter how ridiculous it feels in the moment.

“If it hurts, it means you’re healing something.”
Not failing — just feeling your way forward.

2. You’re Saying “No” More — Even When It’s Awkward

Once upon a time, I RSVP’d yes to every plan, answered every “can you do me a favor?” with “of course,” and treated my calendar like a punishment chart. I thought being everything for everyone was the only way to prove I had it together.

Spoiler alert: I burned out hard.

Lately? I’ve been saying no. Not always gracefully — sometimes with a panic sweat or a frantic backspace — but still, no. And every time I do, I’m honoring my time, my boundaries, and my actual capacity.

If you’re starting to protect your peace, cancel plans when you’re drained, or decline things you’d usually say yes to out of guilt? That’s not failure. That’s progress. Quiet, radical, rebellious growth.

“Every no to them is a yes to you.”
That’s not selfish. That’s how you build a life that fits.

3. You’re Noticing the Patterns That Keep You Stuck

You know that moment when you realize, “Oh. I do this every time I feel rejected”? Or when you see your 3AM scroll spiral for what it is — not just boredom but avoidance?

Yeah. That moment right there? That’s growth.

Because the truth is, awareness hurts like hell at first. It’s like turning the lights on in a messy room — you can’t unsee the piles anymore. But once you notice the pattern, you can stop living on autopilot. You get to choose something different.

So if you’ve been calling yourself out lately — even if you’re not changing everything overnight — that’s not failing. That’s leveling up your awareness. That’s the first brave step toward becoming who you actually want to be.

“Naming the pattern is breaking the spell.”
Awareness isn’t failure. It’s freedom.

4. You’re Showing Up — Even When You Don’t Feel Ready

Let’s be real: half of life is just showing up. To the workout. To the therapy session. To the first date when you’d rather melt into your couch like a leftover mozzarella stick.

And if you’re doing that — showing up tired, scared, unsure, but still doing it? You’re not failing. You’re becoming.

We glorify perfection, but the real magic is in the messy effort. The half-assed journal entry. The workout where you only did the warm-up. The morning you got out of bed and faced the day when your anxiety said “nah.”

Showing up doesn’t mean it looked pretty. It means you didn’t disappear.

“You’re not failing. You’re fighting for yourself in silence.”
And honestly? That’s braver than you think.

5. You’re Learning to Sit With Uncertainty

Growth isn’t always action-packed. Sometimes it’s stillness. Sometimes it’s sitting in that confusing in-between space where you’re not who you used to be, but not quite where you want to be either.

It’s uncomfortable. It’s awkward. It makes you want to fix things fast or Google your way to clarity. (Been there. I once searched “how to figure out your whole life at 2AM.” No luck.)

But if you’re learning to be okay with not having all the answers — if you’re resisting the urge to solve everything right now — that’s huge. That’s growth.

Sitting with uncertainty is the opposite of failure. It’s faith. It’s surrender. It’s the quiet work of becoming.

“If you’re in the dark, maybe you’re being planted — not buried.”
Stay patient. Something’s blooming.

Why This Really Matters

Here’s the truth we don’t hear enough: growth doesn’t always look like glowing up. It doesn’t always come with applause, a milestone, or a cute aesthetic on Instagram. Sometimes it looks like not ghosting your group chat. Or finally sending the email you’ve been dreading. Or eating a vegetable even when your brain is begging for boxed mac & cheese.

Sometimes, it just looks like surviving the day without giving up on yourself.

We live in a culture that measures progress in likes, milestones, and visible wins. But your quiet wins count too. That moment you chose compassion over self-doubt? That deep breath before reacting? That moment you said “I’m struggling” out loud? All of that is growth. All of it matters.

So if you’re here thinking you’re behind or stuck or failing at life…
You’re not.

You’re just in a chapter that doesn’t come with a highlight reel.
You’re not failing — you’re growing in disguise.

Conclusion: You’re Doing Better Than You Think

Remember the burnt sweet potato fries meltdown? Yeah, same girl is now writing this post. Not because I figured it all out, but because I’m learning how to keep going — mascara smudges and all.

And if you’re still showing up, still trying, still caring, even when it’s hard? Then you are not failing. You are growing, evolving, becoming — in ways that can’t be measured by productivity or polished Pinterest quotes.

So here’s your permission slip:

You don’t have to glow up to grow up.
You don’t have to be perfect to be proud of yourself.
And you definitely don’t have to feel okay to be okay.

Wherever you are right now — messy, tender, raw — you’re doing it.
You’re in it.
And you’re not alone.

Take the nap. Text the friend. Burn the fries again if you must.
But don’t you dare count yourself out just because the journey feels weird.

You’re not failing.
You’re becoming.